Control (part 2–end)


This is the continuation of ALter-Ego–Control part 1

 

After threatening me that someone dies, my alter-ego disappeared. I was a bit confused. His both appearance and disappearance caused me this eery feelings.

 

I sat down in my room after a great shiver. I tried to think. It’s actually  been a while since my alter-ego came to me. I have been seeing life as great moments. However, i still do think of his last words to me. I don’t remember them words by words, but the message lingers until now:

I’m weak.

I’m incompetent.

I create many problems in my life which he fixes.

I messed up he cleans up for me.

He has been saving my ass and I should be grateful for having him around.

 

They are things like that. And when you are told about who you are often, then that’s who you are. And that’s what I have been since I knew him.

When he first came, he got his rage unleashed to me. What I didn’t know that time was…the rage went on. I was just scared, I guess. I mean, who would not get scared with a beast taking the ugliest form anyone can imagine that can do many things like lengthen his neck just to breathe behind you?

I have been nothing but a frustrated soul….an afraid soul… if i ever was one.

All my life I onlly remember my fear of having him. When I closely thought about it, that’s how it has always been. The memory I had has always been with him in my room. I asked myself: has there been any moments that I was with someone else in my life? I mean like, interacting?

I thought hard. I thought really hard. What happened with my life? Where has everyone gone? Where has my mom been? I must have a mom, right? And dad? And friends? We—me and my alter-ego DID talk about Michelle. She has this..wait, how come I didn’t even remember how she looked like?

What is this?

What is ALL these?