I was busy doing things somewhere sometimes last week when a notification on my FB account alarmed me. I checked it and there was my step brother’s name and his loading profile pic. I replied to his comment but then I stopped when his profile pic had fully loaded. And the picture made me gasped for air.
It was a picture of my late dad. I looked at it a while and some thoughts came to me. The thoughts were like flashes of images at the same speed with slight of pauses. Here they are:
1. An email from a dearest friend:
“Txa lot ya, sori gw baru buka emailnya, gw baru aja berduka.”
2. In a bus from Ungaran–Cisarua:
A little boy was watching a crying arabian man.
3. An angry man:
“Kenapa harus jual tanah itu tanpa bilang2?”
4. The man in the picture himself:
“Kalo dia, mmm, kalo dia,…ana ndak tau dia sekolah dimana.”
5. A woman rekindling the past
“Abah itu orangnya romantis.Waktu itu kan kita sekeluarga tinggal di lantai 3. Abah itu sengaja booking kamar hotel lantai 3 di seberang rumah trus minta liat2an dari lantai 3 pas malemnya.”
Those were some of many other thoughts I had at that time.
Do you know I was only talking about thoughts–not feelings?
The answer was because I did not know what to feel. I didn’t even know if I was capable of feeling things related to that.I didn’t even know if I had feelings on that after all.
Days had passed since that photograph phenomenon (to me). And now I am sitting here writing things to the sons or the daughters or the wives or whoever related to a DAD, reminding you all to have your greatest memories–good or bad or best or worse so that when you see a picture of a deceased DAD, you know what and how to feel without unnecessary delay. Then you can pray for him,…like I did that very time I looked at my late dad’s photograph.